YearPlay

Last night was bizarre, he thought. There was sand all over the room, as if he had dragged the entire beach to this address. Maybe the beach got an extension and now it started from this room.

His head was heavy, body beaten. And though the uneasiness spread to every part of his body, his heart was much lighter. He’d grown younger again, at least by a few weeks.

This was one of his own theories – you grow young. It’s a paradox and in this paradox lies one of the keys to proverbial living. You let your age go up, while you ask your mind to freeze every point that falls within that age. So at any given point in time you can decide to be 8 years 3 months 5 days 9 nine hours and six point thirty minutes. Or maybe seventeen years something. Or, if need be, twenty-seven years something.

He had even put this theory to practice with great success. He’d switch between (in the same place, with the same set of people, within the same context) 5 ages just to prove a point. Or to confuse everyone. Or to just have a fun. To look stupid. (Sometimes it’s intelligent to be stupid. And vice versa.)

It’s a great tool to break monotony. It gives you great moments.

He even had his favourites.

i’m glad to see

I’m glad to see
You’re looking at me
After all these years
You might not have noticed
What I failed to show
Sometimes existence
Takes years to grow
But I’m glad to see
You’re looking at me
Now.

Some of the days
You’d look away
As if the world
Was just one way
Some of the days you’d smile
And I’d soon realize
It’s for someone else
Eternity, lasts only
For a while

But I’m glad to see
You’re looking at me
Finally.

Some of those days
You’d come up to me
And say hello
For no reason at all
Surprises live a short life
For you did have in mind
A reason
For Divinity’s fall

But I’m glad to see
You’re looking at me
After all these years

Some of those days
We’d share spaces
Not too far apart
You and I
You did a favour
By sharing the same air
(’Coz) if you wanted
I could die

But I’m glad to see
You’re looking at me

It’s my turn to look away

The Ghost Theory

There are two kinds of dead people – the guys who die gradually, of some sickness or old age. And the guys who die suddenly, accidentally.

Now the guy who dies of old age, begins to realize a while before he actually dies, that he’s going to die some day soon. And slowly in his head he starts to dissociate himself with all his attachments – physical and emotional. He starts to switch off from his favourite car, his apartment, his music collection, his money, his wife, son, daughter, grand-children … till the moment arrives when he successfully dissociates himself from everything and everyone that he was attached to. And that very moment death arrives. The moment his soul is free and unattached, his soul is ready to travel back to where it came from. His body dies, ends, and his soul is set free and it goes back to the Energy Centre, the origin of all life.

Then there are guys who die in an accident. For them things are different. Because they do not die a natural death, they do not get the time to dissociate themselves off their attachments. They do not see Death coming, so they cannot Wind Up. These guys, when they die, they find their souls hanging in mid air. I mean there’s no body. But the soul is still attached to SO many things – like their favourite shoes, the signed Pink Floyd album, the wife, the dog, the secretary back at work, the Cappuccino, the works. Because they do not get a warning – “your time has come, get ready”, they are NOT ready. And they are tied to these material and emotional attachments till the moment they die. And when they die, the soul gets out of the body and is trapped around the Earth. Because it’s burdened with unfinished desires, it does not ever acquire the momentum it needs to break free from Gravity.

These guys stay with us as ghosts, as spirits who have a spiritual link with something which still exists on this Earth. But they do not have a Physical presence. So they stay in the atmosphere, around us, just to BE close to the object of their desire as close as they were to it or her, when they were alive. Because they do not have a body but only a spiritual presence, we FEEL them. We are aware of their presence sometimes because of our intuition – that quality in us that is extra-sensory.

Then depending on how strong the bond was, the attachment reduces gradually and they finally, in a long, long time, become free and leave.

Why?

Here’s an analogy – I’m madly in love with my girlfriend and She’s madly in love with me. We have something special going on for a while. Till one day down the road, she tells me that it’s not working out or that she’s seeing someone else. She suggests a break-up. Which means I cannot have her as emotionally as I’ve had her.
I say, “Okay, if that’s the way you want it…” We stop seeing each other, but I’m still madly in love with her. I still nurture a hope that she’ll come back to me. I still hear about her through our common friends. I still, see her at the local café. I bump into her. So there’s still her physical presence that keeps telling me that she’s here and maybe still as close.
Then one day I wake up to hear that the reason I did not see her in the past one month is because she’s gotten married and have moved to Ottawa. Half way, round the globe.
Now, this is the first time ever, I seriously start to think that maybe it’s time to move on. And that’s because her physical presence is NOT there. She’s physically reached a point where she’s way beyond me.
That’s the point I tell myself, “All right, what’s next!” And then in a couple of months I get over her.
Had she been around, had her body been around, I wouldn’t have been able to do that.

Writing on the Wall

For a while now I wanted to write something. Critically important. Marginally revolutionary. Or in other words – something substantial that can make up for all these days of not writing.

And I think I’ve made a good beginning.

You see, the point is to not let the end scare you, even if you don’t have one. In fact it’s good if you don’t have one; that’s leads the way for multiple ends.

One way, or ten other.

GAPS

Don't interpret the words; interpret the silence.

The pause. The spaces.

The moment trapped between the end of one sentence and the beginning of another.

The unspoken.

The unsaid.

The unconnected thoughts that go on even as we speak.

Interpret the white space, the relief.

Interpret the white noise.

Interpret a blank.

Interpret an awkward silence.

Interpret a blink.

A halt.

A break.

Interpret what most of this universe is - vacuum.

Interpret the Gaps.